Women lie every day. We lie to our friends, our families, our lovers and even ourselves. We lie not because we are vindictive and not because we wish anyone harm. We use our lies as defense mechanisms. Shields and weapons against truths that if realized, may crumple the carefully devised images we have created of ourselves, for ourselves. We fake it, even after we have made it, because no one, especially not us, wants to believe that the glitter isn’t really gold and that we don’t actually have it all. Because we’ve been working too long and too hard to let anyone see us sweat, fail or realize that maybe all of it really wasn’t worth it. That maybe we are drowning. Maybe we’re tired. Maybe we just need a break. But, instead, we lie, to ourselves, and especially to each other, because letting you see my weakness makes me susceptible to your judgment and, God forbid... What if you’re right.
But does this help anyone? With all of the lying and the role playing, we have completely abandoned our obligations to support and love each other. By not allowing ourselves to appear weak, flawed or human, we are inevitably preventing the natural bonding process that is necessary for true sisterhood. After all, who wants to confide in someone that they can’t relate to or worst yet, they feel they must lie to? There is no sisterhood in lies and facades. Sisterhood can only exist where there is trust, truth and sincerity. Because the truth is… We are all flawed, and either are, or have been, dirty, weak, hurt, broke, afraid, abused, alone, etc…. And until we can say these things out loud and to each other, we will continue to be.
Commonly Told Lies…
I never feel alone or lonely.
I live for myself, not to satisfy the expectations of my family, friends, colleagues, etc.
I don’t wear weaves, spanks, fake lashes, or padded bras and/or underwear.
My man gives me everything I need.
I have never let a man take advantage of me financially, sexually or emotionally.
The extra 5, 10 or 15 pounds I’ve gained over the last couple of years don’t bother me.
I’ve never felt so desperate that I have considered harming myself and never could.
I never question my faith or choice in religion.
Sex isn’t really that important to me.
I’ve only slept with 2 other men.
I don’t care about being attractive.
I never regret abandoning my passion(s) for a more practical career, man, life, etc.
I never question the fact that the man I am with wasn’t my first choice.
I don’t need female friends. Men make better friends than women, anyway.
I never feel insecure about my marriage/ relationship.
I don’t want or need a man.
I’m OK with never having had an orgasm. Sex is for men, anyway.
I’ve never been jealous of another woman.
I’ve got it all under control.
I don’t talk about other women behind their backs.
I’m not ashamed of anything I’ve ever done.
I did this all by myself.
I don’t understand why other women don’t like me. They must be jealous.
I would never sleep or date a taken/ married man.
I don’t worry that I’m not as much of a virtuous woman as I claim to be.
I never feel insecure about my body.
I’ve never battled an addiction. I’m too strong for that.
I don’t have any regrets.
I’m never concerned about my work/life balance.
I would never stand in the way of another woman’s progress.
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