“Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.” - Maya Angelou
I created The Learning Curve for any woman who has ever asked herself “What now?”
I’ve got the education.
I’ve got the job.
I’ve got the boyfriend.
I’ve got the (insert thing that is supposed to make us happy).
But, I’m still not satisfied.
In fact, I’m unhappy. Something is missing and I have no idea what it is.
God, please don’t tell me that all of that education and work was a complete waste of time?
I created The Learning Curve Woman for me. Because I have asked myself, these questions, more than once, in my short life.
I had always assumed that having the right education, position and relationships would automatically make me happy or fulfilled. Therefore, I spent 6 years, acquiring degrees, positions, connections, men etc., desperately hoping to manifest happiness and fulfillment.
After, experiencing career disappointments, heartache, and the loss of my brother, I have come to understand several things. One, there is no universal formula for happiness or fulfillment. HER path, is NOT your path. Two, “Things,” material or otherwise, are not what make you happy. And Three, you cannot pursue happiness or fulfillment, until you have a strong sense of self, and can define the terms for yourself.
When I was 25, I was stuck. I was building a career I was growing to hate, drowning in student loan debt and wondering what I was thinking when I decided to get degrees in fields that, at the moment, I wasn’t working in. On top of this, I couldn’t make any of my romantic relationships work, and I had no clue why. Each night, I would go home and pray to a God that I knew was always listening; but, questioned whether or not He actually heard me. I resounded that my problems were just too petty to warrant His response. So, I sucked it up; pushed my concerns to the side, and continued to live my unfulfilling life. Because, after all, what was the alternative?
One of the biggest lies anyone will ever tell you is, “people don’t change.” I call this a lie, and not just a false statement, because the people who say this are the very same people trying to convince themselves that they are happy just the way they are. Wise and honest people will tell you that they are constantly changing and growing. And it is the experiences that have caused them to change that have been the most impactful.
By the time I was 27, I knew that I couldn’t live that life anymore. I was the most “unhappy” happy person you could meet. On the outside, I was fit, attractive, educated, traveling in the “right circles,” and building a career with “promise.” But, on the inside, I was overwhelmed with uncertainty and regret. I desperately wanted more; but, I had no idea what more was.
Most of us want more. Most of us want change. Most of us fear loss. Most of us will never embrace more or change because oftentimes, they require loss. Loss of structure. Loss of security. Loss of relationships. Loss of money. Loss of a life, that isn’t fulfilling; but, safe and predictable.
That safe and predicable life took a turn after the loss of a few very important things that eventually led to the loss of myself… My old self. I am now on a journey of self-recovery, re-discovery and redirection. Am I am losing and gaining every day.
The Learning Curve Woman is MY answer to the question, “What now?” It combines my talent for writing, with my passion for helping and connecting with my sisters. Being able to share this experience feeds my spirit and the feedback I receive from you as readers eases my mind and helps me not feel so alone on this journey.
I’ve found my path, now I ask you, Sisters, "What’s yours?"
I'm busy working on my blog posts. Watch this space!